Like all celebrities who come clean when they can’t suppress damaging images about to be launched through social media, I have a confession to make.
This is not an easy thing to do. Because I know it will be disappointing for all of you out there who think of me as a kindly pensioner tending his little garden after a grey-flannelled career and a personal life that pretty well set the standard for moderation in all things.
Not quite true.
It’s too hot to be funny and so I thought I’d do something different this week by explaining, once and for all, the complete historical, social and political relationship between Canada and the U.S. 
Okay, now that I’ve got rid of all the kids in the audience, let’s get to the nub of the matter contained in an email I got from a correspondent in Texas named Bert posing the following question: “Dear Gord, there has been a lot of stuff on CNN suggesting you Canadians have got a lot of things right on medicare, immigration, banking and crime prevention. You make a lot of sense behind the humor and I’d be interested in your take on what makes two peoples who share a continent, language and Christian faith so different.” Continue reading
Editor’s note: Gord has gone off on another mad road trip, the car crammed with beer, smokes, guitars and amps, to inflict himself on unsuspecting and long-suffering relatives and friends all over eastern Canada. To ensure readers don’t miss their regular Thursday morning fix, he has left behind a stash of classics—ancient re-runs that are actually brand new because they were never published back in the day (for good reason) and have not (obviously, considering the references to ancient technology) been updated.
By Gord Lovelace © 1997
Editor’s note: Gord has gone off on another mad road trip, the car crammed with beer, smokes, guitars and amps, to inflict himself on unsuspecting and long-suffering relatives and friends all over eastern Canada. To ensure readers don’t miss their regular Thursday morning fix, he has left behind a stash of classics—ancient re-runs that are actually brand new because they were never published back in the day (for good reason) and have not been updated. The following obviously goes back to the turn of the newest century.
A lot of people are comparing Clinton’s troubles to Watergate, but they are quite different. After all, while Nixon said: “I am not a crook”, Clinton is saying, “Mine is not crooked.”…and when Nixon asked a staffer to come in and “kiss it”, he meant his ass. Continue reading
Editor’s note: Gord has gone off on another mad road trip, the car crammed with beer, smokes, guitars and amps, to inflict himself on unsuspecting and long-suffering relatives and friends all over eastern Canada. To ensure readers don’t miss their regular Thursday morning fix, he has left behind a stash of classics—ancient re-runs that are actually brand new because they were never published back in the day (for good reason) and have not been updated.
Editor’s note: Gord has gone off on another mad road trip, the car crammed with beer, smokes, guitars and amps, to inflict himself on unsuspecting and long-suffering relatives and friends all over eastern Canada. To ensure readers don’t miss their regular Thursday morning fix, he has left behind a stash of classics—ancient re-runs that are actually brand new because they were never published back in the day (for good reason) and have not been updated. (This must stretch back to Tiger Woods’ debut if disgraced Hockey Canada Tsar Alan Eagleson was still in the joint.)
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NEWS ITEM: Federal Solicitor General’s office says prisoners’ golf course at B.C. pen “no different than basketball hoops or body-building weights.”
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MISSION, B.C.–The Head Groundskeeper dashed into the office, totally oblivious to what his cleats and great gobs of Northern Dancer Natural Green-Gro were doing to the shag rug. Continue reading
Editor’s note: Gord has gone off on another mad road trip, the car crammed with beer, smokes, guitars and amps, to inflict himself on unsuspecting and long-suffering relatives and friends all over eastern Canada. To ensure readers don’t miss their regular Thursday morning fix, he has left behind a stash of classics—ancient re-runs that are actually brand new because they were never published back in the day (for good reason) and have not been updated.
By Gord Lovelace (from May 2006)
Ottawa full of clap!
Aw, poop—now we’re in trouble.
The press reports this week new stats showing that, while the number of people smoking has dropped in Ottawa, syphilis rates are way up. Continue reading
Our politicians have decamped for another Easter layabout. All the late night talk shows are re-runs. So why am I the only one left holding the fort?
If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em, I say. Thus the following relic from four years back that I was going to pawn off one day as something new if the weather had co-operated. Continue reading
My niece-in-law arrived at our house just hours after serving as a delegate to the Liberal Party policy convention and we greeted her with the relief normally accorded to survivors of a combat tour in Afghanistan, an Italian cruise ship vacation or the line-up stampede for a new Apple product.
“You poor Dear. Did they force you to accept a contract kickback or, even worse, make one? Did they charge you $125,000 for photocopies?! Continue reading
As we enter the New Year, let’s take a minute to bid adieu to a rare specimen, within that fraternity mainly populated by those of a more maternal persuasion, who almost made it to 2012 after amazingly surviving the world’s first recorded and amplified sexual assault back in 1969.
Some of you of our certain age (more like uncertain) likely scanned over the local death notices a few weeks back and probably missed, one Antonio (Tony) Italiansoundingname.