My old craft, journalism, has sunk to new lows and I figure it’s time to abandon my 45-year-old battle for neutral reporting of the facts in favour of wallowing in the mire like everyone else.
That leads to a new feature designed to kick-start a campaign to bring more frequent changes in content to the web site by offering a regular twist on the news. (I’m the expert on being regularly twisted.)
Let’s leave any introductions at that and just launch into it.
Newt abandons adultery for more satisfying screwing of a hapless media
It appears that unabashed stickman Newt Gingrich will continue to shock gazillionaire Mitt Romney in the Republican primaries because U.S. media outlets are actually living down to the view held by many Republicans that they are the flaccid tools of The Liberal Eastern Establishment Elite. I have no doubt that Newt’s crushing win in South Carolina was precipitated by voter backlash to journalistic fascination with his meat-seeking muscle and CNN’s tacky attempt to suggest, with the first question in its sponsored candidate debate, that serial adultery somehow disqualifies him from invading another oil-rich country as president.
It was appalling journalism, lamely defended later by CNN as a legitimate tactic to expose Gingrich’s hypocrisy on his stated views when it comes to matters of family values.
Well, it certainly backfired. Newt’s lively response, fueled by maybe legitimate umbrage, crushed CNN’s debate moderator like a bug.
Look, media guys and gals, the very foundation of politics is hypocrisy because voters want candidates who reflect their own totally immoral lifestyles.
They all smoke weed, but want stiff sentences for the dealers who are gouging them. If they drove four-cylinder compacts rather than stupid SUVs, there would have been no 9-11, Afghanistan or Iraq and the Saudis would go back to eating sand. They crowd their churches to be led in spiritual growth by scandal-ridden preachers who lie by assuring their flock that prayer and a healthy offering to pay for the pastoral Rolls-Royce will convince The Saviour to stop playing the Tornado and Hurricane Games on his iGOD.
Even prominent Republicans are starting to realize that Gingrich has a shot at this thing in his new role of somewhat-stained white knight slaying the effete media dragon. Many have gone public warning that a Newtian presidency would be an exercise in “chaos” (as opposed to the well-oiled machine that has pretty well turned the U.S. into a basket case over the last decade.)
The American media is also waking up to the fact that its own sneering fat-cat prognosticators may be providing the backlash trampoline to propel Newt all the way to the White House and are scrambling to ratchet things back by finding new pundits who have actually eaten BBQ pulled-pork hoagies at a church-sponsored handgun shoot-off in the parking lot of a football stadium.
I suspect they’re all too late.
(Next up—Ottawa’s crime wave of unfettered newspaper reading brings terror to city bus snoops.)